Haggard! Now with at least 5% more heterosexuality!

Haggard now "completely heterosexual"
DENVER - One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Yeah, riiight. He's just going to start hanging out at local fire departments and doing the keynote at the next lumberjack convention. But he's not gay, oh no. The crack religious psychiatric commando team they put together to "cure" him also had this to say:
Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.
It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.

"So congrats, you're cured. But leave town and get out of our church."
I almost feel sorry for Haggard. The self-loathing he must feel is just terrible. But then again, he's a bigot whose words have instilled the same loathing in other gay people and their families so I hope he stays in the closet and hates himself for life. Maybe he'll take up self-mutilation like a lot of other gay people have when forced to deal with the stress of hating who they are. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.